Last Saturday we went to visit a friend who had just delivered a baby boy. MasyaAllah, many congratulations to the couple, Hafiz & Eda on their newly born. (Well, actually she delivered on the 1st of Sept, but only now we got the time to pay them a visit 😉 )
A common topic to talk about in this sort of visit would be – the experience of labour.. and PANTANG.
Coincidentally, when we called home (in Penang), Bapak asked the same question. Since my brother in-law’s wife is properly ‘berpantang’.
So, this is what this blog entry is all about.. Pantang ke tak pantang.
Firstly, I have to admit I might be biased a bit in giving out my opinion. So, forgive me if I happen to offend anyone, which I have no intention to.
After my delivery, well.. Ibu took care of me. And believe me, I did undergo pantang. Who says I didn’t? But I ‘pantang’ed reasonably 😀
Makan: makan yang sepatutnya~ balance diet. I also made sure there was no cold food for me. Most of the food Ibu cooked, she added black pepper in it. I even love her curry with black pepper. In the first week, I found out I couldn’t eat chicken, so I held back from eating it until my wound healed. Those things that are not suitable for postnatal moms, macam kobis ke, atau yang sejuk and banyak air, I didn’t take them.
What I heard that some mothers, they are not allowed to take anything else except ikan kering, nasi.. even without veges! I think (read: MY OPINION) back in those hundred years ago, perhaps it was not that easy to get proper food. Maybe food was scarced and the choice was limited, so the range allowed to be eaten by these mothers are too small. And the idea of real pantang food is just that. But imagine, if we don’t eat properly.. what’s gonna go into the milk? Most moms would like to breastfeed their babies. But if they themselves lack of the essential nutrients, wouldn’t they just ‘harm’ themselves. I know it probably won’t go to that extent, but we never know.
Bengkung: I had them on even until after 40 days post delivery (I don’t know if this includes in pantang)
Urut & Makan Ubat: Couldn’t get real berurut (I got the real one after I returned to Malaysia almost 3 months post delivery). However, Ibu did ‘melurut’ me. Fair enough. But just imagine, it was already cold at that time. Even with the fan heater directed straight to me, I trembled during the urut session with Ibu. Ubat-ubatan.. I took them quite religiously & finished them. Oh, I also had my hair tied up tightly. Buang angin kat kepala, kata Ibu.
Staying in: I broke the rule after 2 weeks. Went to NMC’s Eid celebration. But still, my move about was restricted. Guess there’s nothing wrong with going out to take some fresh air. Meeting people. I think psychologically it’s good for mothers. Mothers who have just delivered babies, especially new mothers, are prone to suffer from maternity blues or worse, postpartum depression. Bahasa melayunya: gila meroyan (time to include a bit of the area of my study, hehe..). To mingle with other people does help a lot to cheer oneself up.
Movement: Well, this was the hardest part (apa yang susah? susah nak cakap 😉 ). The first week, yes, my movement was a bit restricted. I had my meals brought directly to me. But after that, I already went up and down the stairs (still slowly, not as I normally do). People say take a rest while your baby is sleeping, but I hardly did. During that time, I’d hand-washed Nur Rayyann’s poo poo-stained clothes. If I didn’t do it, then Rayyann wouldn’t have any more clothes. I couldn’t let Ibu did them, she already did too much. And I just let myself to be ‘tough’ (lasak…). And Ibu purposely let me did some work. When my friends asked, she said,
“Biarla lasak sikit. Kalau nanti2 beranak lagi takde orang jaga, memang kena buat sendiri. Lagipun, kalau mampu buat. Kalau tak larat, stop je..”
The same principle for the things to eat. Kalau makan tapi tak sesuai, jangan makan lagi.
Furthermore, there’s no absolute rule in this pantang. And I believe it has something to do with belief too. Kalau seseorang tu sangat yakin yang dia akandapat sesuatu yang buruk kalau tak berpantang, benda tu boleh jadi pada dia (in other word, psychology rules). Macam kak Ana kata juga,
“Kalau orang tu yakin dia boleh tanpa berpantang, insyaAllah tak ada apa-apa…”
Semuanya bergantung pada keyakinan juga.
And one more thing, everyone is different from one to another. If your body can handle it (without proper pantang), then go for doing the normal things. Otherwise, just adhere to the rules. Life is easy. Don’t take everything too hard.If you happen to have to berpantang strictly, no worries. Allah itu Maha Adil. Kesenangan untuk kalian barangkali di waktu yang lain, insyaAllah.
For all mothers, take this period to get to know your newborn better. Enjoy every minute spend. Also take this time to get yourself properly heal. Nothing is more important than health.
For muslimah, this is another time to ponder the greatness of Allah.
Ingat, pendidikan anak telah lama bermula. Kini anak di depan mata, pendidikan secara langsung jangan sampai terlewat.