Both Dzul & I attended a visa extension presentation by UoN International Office yesterday. Lots of things need to be done. Quoting K Nita who attended the same session, “Macam nak tulis thesis…” 😉
This study extension has been bothering my mind for quite some time… until last Sunday night…
It’s been a while since I last had a tearful conversation with my husband…
Don’t get me wrong. We didn’t have any fight (Alhamdulillah)… nor any tension argument.
I was the one who started the talk. Thinking of the pressure I was having at the moment – on what to say to my supervisors during the meeting the next day… about my study extension.
I got this headache thinking how was I going to tell my SVs the need to complete my study as soon as possible. Reason being: after 6 months of extension, we’ll no longer get the allowance from our sponsor.
At the same time, I don’t want to leave Dzul struggling alone. The way he talked about this showed he wants us (both Rayyann & I) to stay with him. “We’ll find a way…” he said when I asked how are we going to find the money to support ourselves during the allowance-less period. That was when I broke down.
It wasn’t the worries about not having enough money that made me broke into tears (despite that was my initial worry).
I just felt sinful. My worry kind of depicting my ignorance to the fact that Allah is ar-Razak.
We’ve got the opportunity to study and live in this country, all because of the rezki from Allah. Yes, and the rezki is through the scholarship granted to us.
Astaghfirullah, how I should be more careful with my thoughts and feelings, my spoken and written words.
As always, it’s a lesson learnt.
Anyway, for the scholarship extension, I pray for the best for all of us.
The paramount importance now is to work hard, put my real focus on my study, tawakkal ilallah. If Allah permits, we could complete our study before the end of the year. Otherwise, kami redha. Maybe that’s the best thing for us.
وَعَسَىٰٓ أَن تَكۡرَهُواْ شَيۡـًٔ۬ا وَهُوَ خَيۡرٌ۬ لَّڪُمۡۖ وَعَسَىٰٓ أَن تُحِبُّواْ شَيۡـًٔ۬ا وَهُوَ شَرٌّ۬ لَّكُمۡۗ وَٱللَّهُ يَعۡلَمُ وَأَنتُمۡ لَا تَعۡلَمُونَ…
…and it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know (Al-Baqarah: 216)